DIVORCE-PROOFING YOUR MARRIAGE

Communication, Money Problems, Infidelity, Lack of Emotional Support, Cultural and Religious Differences, and Selfishness are elements that lead to divorce, but did you know that marriages can be divorce-proof?

We are continuing our study of the Book of Ephesians. This week, we are looking at Ephesians 5:21-33. Still focusing on the theme of unity, Paul moves toward the relationship between husband and wife, offering counseling on marriage and using the image of the relationship between husband and wife to our relationship to God in terms of Creation, Christ, salvation, and the church.

You may view our past and present videos at SabbathSchoolDaily.com.

You can obtain the study guide for this series at Sabbath.School or ssnet.org, all of which are at no cost to you.

Let Us Inviting God’s Presence:  

Holy Father, you ordained marriage in the Garden of Eden to be the union between one man and one woman. Help us see its value and honor it the way you established it at creation.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

In the Garden of Eden, from the man, God made woman. She was to be his companion and helper. While also being her companion and strong helper, it was his duty to love, care, cherish, and protect her. And in turn, she was to cheer, encourage, and honor him.

The formula for marriage God instituted in the Garden of Eden was divorce-proof. But sin has perverted marriage and the family.

In Ephesians 5:21–33, Paul talks about how believers must serve and care for each other.

Specifically, in Ephesians 5:22–24, he gives counsel to wives, saying:

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:22–24)

And then he gives counsel to the husbands in Ephesians 5:25–32, saying:  

26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,

27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:25–32) (Split)

Finally, in Ephesians 5:33, Paul ends his talk with some advice for both.

33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)

How should we understand Paul’s advice today?  Is it relevant?

God wants to transform our relationships with one another. But before our relationships with one another can be transformed, we must allow Jesus first to transform our selfish hearts.

We must allow him to make us brand new. When our hearts are transformed from selfish hearts to unselfish hearts, then how we relate to our spouse, family, and friends will change.

Paul in Ephesians 4:22 describes our old life before Jesus. We were corrupt and doomed for failure.

22 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, (Ephesians 4:22)

But when we give our lives totally to God and allow Jesus to come into our hearts, our lives change. We are renewed. Then, His Holy Spirit takes control of us. We move as the Spirit directs us. Read the following text about the new power that works in us when we submit our lives to Jesus:

Ephesians 2:22; Ephesians 3:16; Ephesians 5:18–21; and Ephesians 6:17, 18.

Also, read the new patterns of behavior that take place in our lives when we yield ourselves to Jesus: Ephesians 4:13, 15, 20–24, 32; and Ephesians 5:2, 10, 17, 21–23.

Once our lives are changed and transformed by the working of the Holy Spirit, we develop a new life that has moral patterns in harmony with God’s plan for us. Therefore, we interact with one another in a relationship in which, rather than self, Christ is central. God’s plan, if followed by the husband and wife, is divorce-proof. 

However, some modern women have problems with Paul’s statement in Ephesians 5:22,

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22).

 Is what Paul saying a form of discrimination against women?

Pause this video, read Ephesians 5:1-33, then press continue to view Part 2, Counsel to Christian Wives.

Ephesians

(Lesson 10)

Husbands and Wives: Together at the Cross

Part 2 Counsel to Christian Wives

Paul connects Ephesians 5:1–20 and Ephesians 5:22–33 using Ephesians 5:21, saying:

21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. (Ephesians 5:21)

He does not just admonish believers to submit to one another, but he expresses that believers should do so out of reverence for God.

But what does Paul mean when he tells the believers to serve or submit to each other?

Christians are advised to serve each other because of Jesus. Observe what it says in Mark 10:42–45; Romans 12:10; and Philippians 2:3, 4.

Mark 10:42-45

42 But Jesus called them to Himself and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them.

43 Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant.

44 And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all.

45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:42-45)

Romans 12:10

10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; (Romans 12:10)

Philippians 2:3-4

3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

Just as Jesus came to serve and gave his life for us, God expects us to put aside selfishness and have a heart that is willing to serve. Our friendship with Jesus is the most important connection we have. When we put Jesus first, He helps us to know how to love and care for everyone else.

In line with this willingness to be of service to one another, Paul also admonishes Christian wives to obey or submit to their own husbands.

Peter offers this same counsel in 1 Peter 3:1, 5

1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,

5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands (I Peter 3:1,5)

What does Paul mean when he says that a wife must obey her husband the same as Jesus?

Ephesians 6:7 gives us a clue.

7 with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, (Ephesians 6:7)

In this verse, Paul tells slaves or workers to serve their boss or master as if they were serving Jesus and not men.

In other words, when we submit, we are not submitting to man. We are submitting to the Lord.

Colossians 3:18 provides additional help, it says:

18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (Colossians 3:18)

So, these verses help us understand that, above all others, Jesus is primary. He is our truest, highest focus of submission.

Therefore, Christian wives are expected to honor Jesus above their husbands, and if their husbands ask them to do things that Jesus doesn’t want them to do, they should obey God. In other words, Wives are themselves believers who must ultimately honor Christ over their husbands.

Thus, in Colossians and Ephesians, we learn that Jesus, and only Jesus, is the Head or Top Leader of the church.

Recall that the church is the same as Jesus’ body, as expressed in Ephesians 1:22; Ephesians 5:23; Colossians 1:18. “23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.” (Ephesians 5:23). (Split)

The similarity here is that as the church obeys Jesus, the wife obeys her husband, as her husband obeys and follows Christ.

It is important that we be careful not to misunderstand this verse. The Bible commands a wife to obey her husband. At the same time, the Bible commands the husband to love and care for his wife. Therefore, this command doesn’t give the husband permission to hurt his wife emotionally, verbally, or physically. Paul’s admonition is based on the assumption of a loving, caring marriage and not a dysfunctional one. Therefore, this verse should not be used to condone any form of domestic abuse.

This is the point that Ellen White makes in the Book Adventist Home when she says, If the husband “is a coarse, rough, boisterous, egotistical, harsh, and overbearing man, let him never utter the word that the husband is the head of the wife and that she must submit to him in everything; for he is not the Lord, he is not the husband in the true significance of the term.”—Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 117. 

A loving husband treats his wife like Christ treats his bride. How does Christ treat his bride? Read Ephesians 5:25-29 and Ezekiel 16:1-14 and then continue to part 3, The Church as the Bride of Christ: Part 1

Ephesians

(Lesson 10)

Husbands and Wives: Together at the Cross

Part 3 The Church as the Bride of Christ: Part 1

Using the image of an ancient wedding or marriage in Ephesians 5:25–27 and 29, Paul reflects on Ezekiel 16:1–14.

Ephesians 5:25-27 and 29 says:

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, (Ephesians 5:25-27, 29)

Paul explains that Christ’s love for his church is like the bridegroom’s love for his bride. Jesus is the Bridegroom from heaven who:

1. Loves the church. The church is the same as Jesus’ bride (Ephesians 5:25). We must never forget that Jesus loves us the same as a husband loves his wife.
2. He gives Himself as a “bride price” or wedding gift. In ancient wedding arrangements, the bridegroom “purchased” the bride with a large amount of money and goods called the “bride price.” The “bride price” was so valuable that many of the ancient villages depended on the custom. Jesus paid the ultimate price for the church. He gave His life (Ephesians 5:25).
3. He Bathes His bride. Like today, the preparation of the bride was an important part of the ancient wedding festivities. The bride’s maid and her female family members helped the bride prepare for her wedding.

 In contrast to ancient weddings, rather than the bride’s maid, Paul paints the picture of the Bridegroom, Jesus helping His bride prepare for the wedding!  How does Jesus help his bride prepare? Jesus makes His bride clean and holy. He washes away her sin with water, which is most likely associated with her getting baptized (Ephesians 5:26).

4. He Remembers and repeats God’s promise. In speaking God’s promise, Jesus also cleanses His bride with the “word” (Ephesians 5:26). The “word” is an image of God’s promise; it points to the word of promise that the divine Bridegroom speaks to His bride. Jesus makes this promise to the bride when He marries her. Review what Paul says about God’s promise in Ephesians 1:3–14 and Ephesians 2:1–10). This promise is the same as the promise God makes to Christians when they give their lives to Him. Wedding engagements and promises in Bible times included contracts or written agreements. These contracts indicated how much the husband must pay and how much the bride would bring to the marriage from her family. (Split)
5. He gets the bride ready. When the bride is finally given to her Groom, she is very beautiful (Ephesians 5:27). Jesus not only washes the bride but also gives the bride clothes to wear and helps her get ready. 

Reading Ezekiel 16:1–14 and Ephesians 5:25–27, 29 helps us understand the way that Jesus feels about us. These verses are such comforting thoughts. They help us to know how much Jesus loves us. And they help us understand how we must treat each other in a marital relationship. But the wedding ceremony does not stop there; the bride must be present to the bridegroom. Who gives her to the groom? Find out in Part 4: The Church as the Bride of Christ: Part 2

——————————————————-

Thank you for watching this video. To be notified when our next video comes out, Subscribe to my YouTube Channel. If you enjoyed this video and believe it could benefit others, click Share. Thank you for Sharing and Subscribing.

Hebron Seventh-day Adventist Church

 7902 Wheatly Street

Houston, TX 77088

Watch Past and Present Lessons at SabbathSchoolDaily.com